Hey Dr. Beck,
Disclaimer: I am NOT in this market. So take with a grain of salt.:!:
OK, let's start with the headline:
"Who Else Wants These Tips And Secrets About How To Avoid Stinky, Stained and Leaky Cloth Diapers?”
What about making it look and sound more like a helpful article than a sales letter?
Maybe:
"Advice To Mom's Who Are Sick And Tired Of Leaky Cloth Diapers"
IF that's the pain on their mind, then it should be pretty hard for them to resist reading further.
Then, when you start it out, get right to the point:
===============================
Dear Mom,
If you never want to have to deal with another stinky, stained and leaky cloth diaper again, then this will be the most exciting message you ever read.
Then launch into your story. Make it something most every other mom can relate to. Like this:
My name is Autumn Beck. I am a mom of 3 and, not long ago, I decided to switch to cloth diapers.
The reason I did this (fill in the exactly same reasons other moms in the market choose cloth diapers).
However, like you probably learned, when I did this (fill in all the confusing issues, problems, etc with cloth diapers. Make it dramatic, and extreme as you can.)
Then one day, while (reading/listening to some authority) I learned a way to (solve the problems all the cloth diaper moms have).
Then segue into your product.
You might want to try testing something like that.
Ben