Putting my dog down

[Alan Petersen]

After 13 years my dog has been very sick the past couple weeks. Seizures, disorientation, and just being morose which is very sad.

Last week Sunday he had a rough night, I had to take him to the emergency vet at 10:30 PM, the vet explained to me that he has a brain tumor.

Since he is old (this dog breed life expectancy is around 12 years old and he's 13 years old), they don't recommend operating plus she thinks it won't help anyway. So the vet suggested putting him down. It was like a punch in the stomach.

The next morning (last week Monday) I took him to his regular vet who concurred with the emergency clinic vet.

She gave me some anti-seizure meds to give the dog and I took a week to think about it.

Although he hasn't had any more seizures, the poor dog is just miserable. He whimpers a lot and it just isn't the same dog. He can't make it up the stairs anymore and I can't let go outside on his own since he'll wander off.

Since I work from home I get to see what his day is like and it's not a fun, happy-go-lucky life for him anymore. Right now he's sleeping. We still go on walks which perk him up. But his quality of life, well - sucks. And the brain tumor is a ticking time bomb and when it goes off the vet said it won't be pretty.

I Googled canine brain tumor and read about the pain he is in and that was it.

So my wife called on Monday to make the appt to put him down, I couldn't make the call. Funny how attached I've become to my dog. But after 13 years, I guess it's normal. I feel silly about it but I can't help it. I'm going to miss my dog!

Here is a picture I took this summer:

[Jim Guinn]

Hi Alan,

Of course you are going to miss him, miss him greatly...so, there is no need to feel silly. He's your dog, your companion, your unconditional buddy! It is very tough to lose a pet. My heart goes out to you during this sad time. My advice....after a few days...go to the local shelter. There's another buddy waiting for someone to take him home.

Jim

[Mommyland]

Oh Alan I am so sorry to hear this. My heart breaks with you. Just keep in mind you have him a great life.

[Alan Petersen]

Thanks for the kind words.

It's done now. I do feel a lot better for him now that he's not suffering. The worse part was the drive over there and walking into the vet clinic.

The actual euthanasia part wasn't bad at all. Very fast, very peaceful. My wife and I were there petting him until the end. The doctor and the vet assistant were there and they were really nice.

We ended up ordering a rock urn for his ashes and we're going to put it outside in our yard were he loved to hang out and chase rabbits. We'll get it in 10-15 days.

[Lynn Terry]

[Mike Paul]

[LaneLester]

[Alan Petersen]

Yeah, I'll admit it, the tears were flowing. I'm 6'4, 200 pounds and was crying like a little kid. Even the vet tech had tears in her eyes.

The house feels so empty with out the ol dog running around. Since I work from home, it's sad to look around and not see him. He would usually be near by taking a nap.

[Bonnie Lowe]

What a beautiful dog! I'm sure you gave him a wonderful life, Alan. You did the right thing.

I second Jim's suggestion -- go adopt a new pup. I remember when my first dog died a many years ago. Afterwards, I was thinking "I don't want to go through that pain again... no more pets for me." But after a few weeks, my husband practically forced me to go to the animal shelter. Despite my decision to "just say no," a little guy "picked me" and we took him home.

Over the years, I have loved and lost several pets.

Here's the thing to remember: the daily joy they give you for years, far outweighs the pain you feel when you lose them. You just have to focus on those years of joy, and not the days (or weeks) of grief.

There's another pup out there with your name on him, Alan... just waiting to share a wonderful life with you.

[Karen Chrisman]

Alan,

I'm sorry I didn't respond to this post sooner. I've been occupied with my own loss the past 2 weeks. I also, know what it is like to make that decision to put your best friend to sleep, the emptiness and loneliness. You expect to see them. I really thought a couple of times since Pistol's death that I felt her at my side or thought I got a glimpse of her close by. Unfortunately, no!

I miss her terribly. I feel with you!!!

Karen

[angienewton]

[WAHumor]

Man, I feel for you, Alan.

I had to put my cat Figgy down a few years back when he suddenly became sreiously ill, and my little Sandy just recently. I'll admit I cried like a baby when I had to let my buddies go.

The truth is you love them and the loss genuinely hurts. All grieving does.

I'm sorry to tell you that you may hurt for a while (I've had lots of pets in my life), but another will come soon if you're open to it. They did for me! I must be meant to have them because I've never gone looking for one.

As with all grieving, it gets better. Plus you have all those great memories.

[lisamariemary]

Coming in late to this, but, Alan - I am so very sorry for your loss! That drive to the vet is definitely one of the hardest ever! I feel for you, and I'll light a candle today for you and your dog!

[ChristyK]

Sorry, Alan . Completely understand. When I have dogs they are a part of my family. I had a golden that we finally had to lay to rest after 13 years. He was my first 'child'.

It will be hard for a while of course - even walking past the dog food at the store. You could go out and get a new dog immediately. That helps some people. I chose not to. But gave in about a year later lol. I now have a new 'brat' - the little sister my boys never got. And once again she is a part of our family.

You will forever cherish the time you had with you loved pet and life will move on. Don't let anyone who has never been attached to a pet tell you that you are being silly over the loss. It's hard and my thoughts are with you.

Christy

[Alan Petersen]

Thanks everyone. I appreciate the good words and advice. It's been tough but I'm feeling better. I'm looking forward to my rock urn with my buddies ashes so I can put that in the yard as a permanent remembrance.

We've been dog sitting vacationing friends dog for about 10 days now and that has been fun. It's a little Havanese. Last night for the first time I opened up to the idea of getting a new dog. I knew I would but right after I was like no way! But I'm not ready yet.

Like Christy wrote some get a new dog right away but I'll wait to see how I feel in the spring/summer. It's not just emotional but practical. Living in Minnesota training a new puppy when it's 2 degrees outside and snow everywhere doesn't sound like a good time for either of us.