SSWT Internet Marketing Forum

And the Emperor saying to a client...

"Yes...let the words flow through you...I can feel your greed...you are on the path to the dark side"

Oh boy, I can't resist...

OBI WAN KENOBI: (Waving his hand at client, doing a jedi mind trick) You don't need a good offer or responsive list. All you need is a killer, cash-sucking sales letter.

CLIENT: (In trance-like state) I don't need a good offer or list, all I need is a killer sales letter.

OBI WAN KENOBI: (Waving his hand again) Good copy will solve all your money problems. My copy alone has the power to make you a million dollars.

CLIENT: (Still in trance, but now drooling) All I need is good copy and I will be a millionaire overnight...no more money problems...

OBI WAN KENOBI: (Waving his hand one last time) You will now write me a big check...

Ben,

And...

Han Solo - "She looks good doesn't she, I mean, that sales letter is old but she can still fly."

Client - That sales letter is a piece of junk!

Han Solo - "That sales letter isn't junk, she's a little worn out, but she's tested and proven to a 3.9% conversion rate!"

Then of course we forgot one...

Client - That's impossible! We can't target our audience like that!

Luke Skywalker - That's not impossible, I used to target Wombats at home with a T-16, and they are only two feet in diameter.

Obi-Wan: I have something here for you. Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough, but your uncle wouldn't allow it. He feared you might follow old Obi-Wan on some damn fool idealistic crusade like your father did.

Luke: What is it?

Obi-Wan: Your father's NLP copywriting training course. This is the weapon of a Jedi Writer. Not as clumsy or random as building relationships, targeting your audience or selling decent products; an elegant arsenal of words for a more uneducated age. For over a thirty years, the Jedi Writers have been pulling the wool over the eyes of unsuspecting clients with fat cheque-books and an unrealistic expectation of what copy can do for them.

Luke: If I learn the Way of the Jedi Writer will I be able to retire to a mansion, drive really fast cars and have hot, fast, and loose women sucking on my lollipop?

Obi-Wan: Anything's possible Luke. Didn't you buy The Secret?

Luke: Sure. I manifested a big fat hole in my bank-balance, too.

Obi-Wan: Funny... that happened to me, too. Until I got the Advanced Version, Volume II. Platinum Level. You'll learn, Son, the easy way to make money when you've been sold rubbish is to turn rubbish-seller yourself. Don't ask questions. It upsets the Balance.

Luke: The Balance of the Force, Master?

Obi-Wan: No, the Balance of my Bank Account. All those refunds... they always come when people start asking questions and thinking for themselves.

Luke: <<shudder>>. You won't catch me thinking for myself, Master, I swear it! I'll swallow any old crap you tell me because otherwise I'm being "negative" and a "naysayer".

Obi-Wan: Good lad. That's $997.

Luke: Anything you say.

Obi-Wan Well... living out here in the desert on my own for so long... did you ever see "Deliverance"...?

Jon,

That's not fair, I spilled my orange juice on the front of my shirt when I started to read that

I can see it now...

"Star Wars Episode VII"

'A New Breed Of Marketing'