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Cults, Guns And Copywriting

Compel your visitors to Take Action! What to say, how to say it, formatting and more... Join us here to discuss writing sales letters, general copywriting, and which words work the best!

Moderators: angienewton, tknoppe, terrapin719, lisamariemary, Bensettle

Postby jonmcculloch » Mon Jun 02, 2008 1:41 pm

Bensettle wrote:For some reason I now have this picture in my head of Darth Vader doing that force choke thing he does in the movies on a client, saying -- "I find your lack of faith in my copywriting disturbing..."

Ben


Ben,

You just made me drip red wine down my chin... I wish I could write copy like that... :lol:

More disturbing is the the thought of some over-hyped copywriter dressing up in a long black dress and a funny mask... especailly if it's a bloke.

-- Jon
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Postby JosephRatliff » Mon Jun 02, 2008 10:08 pm

And the Emperor saying to a client...

"Yes...let the words flow through you...I can feel your greed...you are on the path to the dark side"
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Postby jonmcculloch » Tue Jun 03, 2008 3:16 am

JosephRatliff wrote:And the Emperor saying to a client...

"Yes...let the words flow through you...I can feel your greed...you are on the path to the dark side"


You and Ben have NO idea what you've just set in motion :twisted:

Watch this space...

-- Jon
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Postby Bensettle » Tue Jun 03, 2008 8:28 am

Oh boy, I can't resist...

OBI WAN KENOBI: (Waving his hand at client, doing a jedi mind trick) You don't need a good offer or responsive list. All you need is a killer, cash-sucking sales letter.

CLIENT: (In trance-like state) I don't need a good offer or list, all I need is a killer sales letter.

OBI WAN KENOBI: (Waving his hand again) Good copy will solve all your money problems. My copy alone has the power to make you a million dollars.

CLIENT: (Still in trance, but now drooling) All I need is good copy and I will be a millionaire overnight...no more money problems...

OBI WAN KENOBI: (Waving his hand one last time) You will now write me a big check...
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Postby JosephRatliff » Tue Jun 03, 2008 9:04 am

Ben,

And...

Han Solo - "She looks good doesn't she, I mean, that sales letter is old but she can still fly."

Client - That sales letter is a piece of junk!

Han Solo - "That sales letter isn't junk, she's a little worn out, but she's tested and proven to a 3.9% conversion rate!"

Then of course we forgot one...

Client - That's impossible! We can't target our audience like that!

Luke Skywalker - That's not impossible, I used to target Wombats at home with a T-16, and they are only two feet in diameter.
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Postby jonmcculloch » Tue Jun 03, 2008 11:09 am

Obi-Wan: I have something here for you. Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough, but your uncle wouldn't allow it. He feared you might follow old Obi-Wan on some damn fool idealistic crusade like your father did.

Luke:
What is it?

Obi-Wan: Your father's NLP copywriting training course. This is the weapon of a Jedi Writer. Not as clumsy or random as building relationships, targeting your audience or selling decent products; an elegant arsenal of words for a more uneducated age. For over a thirty years, the Jedi Writers have been pulling the wool over the eyes of unsuspecting clients with fat cheque-books and an unrealistic expectation of what copy can do for them.

Luke: If I learn the Way of the Jedi Writer will I be able to retire to a mansion, drive really fast cars and have hot, fast, and loose women sucking on my lollipop?

Obi-Wan: Anything's possible Luke. Didn't you buy The Secret?

Luke: Sure. I manifested a big fat hole in my bank-balance, too.

Obi-Wan: Funny... that happened to me, too. Until I got the Advanced Version, Volume II. Platinum Level. You'll learn, Son, the easy way to make money when you've been sold rubbish is to turn rubbish-seller yourself. Don't ask questions. It upsets the Balance.

Luke: The Balance of the Force, Master?

Obi-Wan: No, the Balance of my Bank Account. All those refunds... they always come when people start asking questions and thinking for themselves.

Luke:
<<shudder>>. You won't catch me thinking for myself, Master, I swear it! I'll swallow any old crap you tell me because otherwise I'm being "negative" and a "naysayer".

Obi-Wan:
Good lad. That's $997.

Luke: Anything you say.

Obi-Wan Well... living out here in the desert on my own for so long... did you ever see "Deliverance"...?
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Postby JosephRatliff » Tue Jun 03, 2008 1:08 pm

Jon,

That's not fair, I spilled my orange juice on the front of my shirt when I started to read that :lol:

I can see it now...

"Star Wars Episode VII"

'A New Breed Of Marketing'
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