Press release critique

[networkmom]

I had someone write a press release for me but was told by prweb that it should edited and said:

The news angle of this release is unclear, which is a flag to the media that the content is actually an advertisement or an opinion piece. Please revise so there is a well-defined news hook in the headline, summary and first paragraph.

Here is the press release if anyone would care to give suggestions I would appreciate it.


For Immediate Release


PRESS RELEASE



Keeping Kids Active with Fun

Mentor, Ohio — Staying active is easy for children and teenagers when you incorporate fun and creativity. According to studies published in the Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine, physical activity, including active play, is important to the social, emotional and physical development of children. Studies also revealed that many children are faced with school related worry, family anxiety such as divorce and social pressure. In these situations, exercise is a key to help children and teenagers cope with stress.

The awareness of exercise is not a new comer to most people especially with the constant media attention, diet advertisements and exercise equipment infomercials. What remains an ageless challenge is how to keep exercise fresh, fun and a continuous part of our daily lives. According to Denise Nero, the owner of the Fitness and Kids website, “people are searching for tips and equipment on how to get their children active while having fun.” She adds, “the popular products are the dance revolution and rebounders. These products are a great way for kids to have fun while getting into shape.”

Denise Nero is a certified fitness professional and the owner of the Fitness and Kids website. Nero’s website displays a wealth of fitness articles, a variety of exercise videos, exercise equipment including the Dance Revolution and rebounders, and creative recipe books to foster nutritious fun in the kitchen for parents and their children. Nero has authored, “Fitness and Kids: Fighting Childhood Obesity,” a common sense exercise and nutrition guide to help keep children and teenagers healthy and fit.

For additional information contact www.fitnessandkids.com



Thanks
Denise

[Steve MacLellan]

[Steve MacLellan]

[networkmom]