I am currently in a phase of self-exploration. While I have a very concrete ten year plan, there are some variables I have not yet filled in. I find theories on free will, destiny and luck - along with talent, unique characteristics and genetics - absolutely fascinating.
At some point I am going to figure myself out... and "Whoa ~ Watch Out World!" huh?
LOL
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Some of you already know this, but for those that dont: I was in a near-death accident in 1994 where I suffered severe brain damage. I broke my jaw in two places, knocked ten teeth out, broke my cheekbone and skull, my sinus cavities burst... (yuck, right? sorry!) - I was paralyzed, deaf and told that I would be a "vegetable". I wasnt actually told that, but read it in the chart later down the road. Anyway... they finally decided after three days to put me in for surgery (originally not confident that I was going to live through the night, and certainly not survive surgery).
Months later, having been through the surgeries, my body went through a miraculous healing process. My jaws had just recently been unwired and I was just starting to get around good on my own again (meaning I could turn my head, and walk around, do simple things, etc). At first it was just a tingling in my face where I'd had no feeling at all since the accident, and then my skin began to peel in the oddest way... slowly but surely the scarring started to disappear and I was able to blink and had some use of my facial muscles again. Over the course of time I recovered completely, much to the amazement of my doctors, except for being partially deaf in my right ear and having regressive memory loss (meaning I cannot remember much of my life before the accident).
I have one small scar on my right arm... that's it. No one would ever know the trauma (and the transformation) I went through 9 1/2 years ago. Just last year I began to remember bits and pieces of my childhood, and continue to remember more all the time.
What I do know - and the point I am making - is that it changed me. It changed who I am, how I think, what's important to me - and it changed some negative habits and negative thinking.
I shouldnt have been in that truck that night in 1994. I still to this day dont know the driver or what I was doing there. But I have no regrets about it... I feel as if the course of my life was changed for the better from that point forward.
A similar situation on Christmas Eve of 2000, which I have shared before: http://www.WebServiceNetwork.com/Christmas2000.htm , changed my life (and my lifestyle!) in a huge way. It would seem that it is during major trauma or extreme change ("life-changing events") that we find out our true strengths, and our weaknesses - and have the ability and the WILL to make necessary changes.
